4.29.2006

Pet Peeves 14 - 23

I can't recall where I was at in my Pet Peeve list and it's too much effort to go back and figure it out, so I'm perhaps repeating myself. Here they are, in no particular order:

Pet Peeve #14. People who say "We're trying to get pregnant." Uh sorry, no. WE aren't getting pregnant, the FEMALE is getting pregnant while the male sits back and pretends he has empathy pains. And no, I've never had kids. Figure that one out, huh?

Pet Peeve #15. People who explain rudimentary tasks as if they're complicated. This comes from my current job in housekeeping. How many people truly do not know how to wash a window or dust a television?

Pet Peeve #16. Spelling/grammatical errors. I seriously have to think to use slang or bad grammar. It's just not the way I talk. Sure, I don't always use punctuation properly and have a few run on sentences or some shit, but it's rare to hear me say anything close to "ain't","got no" or "I done that" etc. It makes me cringe. And it's everywhere! It just makes people sound so stupid.

Pet Peeve #17. People that have problems with "cussing". This is a big one. Who says a bad word is "bad" anyway? The only reason there is such thing is because someone told these people a word is bad. I call bullshit. A word is a word and nothing more. There is no such thing as a bad word, there are only words spoken at wrong times by rotten people with foul intentions. And the nicest word said sarcastically can actually mean far worse than the worst word said in sincerity.

Pet Peeve #18. Fat people that use electric wheelchairs in department stores. I'm not referring to the dude with a cast, or the woman with an amputated leg, or even the quadriplegic. I'm talking about the 500lb fat ass that gets winded waddling down an aisle of fucking potato chips and chocolate. Seriously, actually walking from point A to point A 1/2 would burn a calorie or two. Sure you may take up the entire aisle, but at least it looks like you're making an effort! Also helps if you ditch the junk food aisle as well. The day a reason is found to pity a steel wheelchair is the day you need to have that stretched mass of a stomach stapled. It's like body odor. You may not care how you smell, but trust me pal, the rest of us do. You may not care if you're fat, but we don't want to have to maneuver our way around the Greenpeace save the whale pickets to get to our morning cereal and tennis shoes.

Pet Peeve #19. Having to repeat myself. Be glad I've spoken to you once. Don't expect it twice.

Pet Peeve #20. Failure to use turn signals. I'm not asking anyone to do something complicated here. Flip that little lever to the left of your steering wheel. How difficult is that? There's no viable excuse not to do so but rudeness.

Pet Peeve #21. "Fucking Screaming Fat Kids". This is actually Rydar's area of annoyance but I feel like I should mention it because it peeves me, too. If your children (fat or otherwise) cannot behave like civilized people then don't take them in public. It's a direct reflection on you as a parent. I personally don't look at bratty children and think "oh good lord those kids are brats" I think "holy fuck that mom/dad is a chickenshit who lets the little fucker walk all over him/her." Seriously people, no kid should scream like that unless getting beat for screaming like that.

Pet Peeve #22. The Mentally Retarded. Geez-us! Again, if they can't act like civilized people, then don't take them in public. There are institutions for the mong that can't quit drooling on the restaurant table and the tard in the movie theatre that shrieks in idiotic glee and can't seem to cease the incessant clapping.

Pet Peeve #23. Welfare recipients. Nobody owes it to you lazy motherfuckers to pay for your living. I couldn't care less if you have fifty kids so long as I'm not paying for them. Quit breeding! Condoms are cheap and you aren't guaranteed a better job just because you're a birth-control refusing Catholic. Or, for that matter, because you're an incestual amish bastard.

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4 Comments:

At 8:11 AM, April 30, 2006 , Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Insestuous Amish bastards are ruining this country! Or something!

 
At 9:15 AM, April 30, 2006 , Blogger Mr. Anthrope said...

FYI - People suck. I was perusing the blogexplosion challenge area and saw your win-loss ratio. After reading a few of your posts, I realize that what I suspected (because of my wl ratio) is true - People tune out things their parents told them were "vulgar." Fucking dolts.

 
At 11:17 AM, April 30, 2006 , Blogger Johnny Wadd said...

The turn signal one is defiantly one of mine as well.

 
At 2:09 PM, April 30, 2006 , Blogger Battlerocker said...

Nice rant.

 

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