1.28.2007

Do I Steal? !@#$ Right!

AskMen.com Dating Advice

This article at best, is laughable. This is precisely the type of shit that men read, attempt to apply, with the end result of never getting laid again. Good job, AskMen. *rolls eyes*

She loves to nag
Every time she opens her mouth, it's to say something like "I told you...", "Why can't you...", "Why do you always..." Nothing suits her anymore, and everything you do is wrong. She constantly blames you and criticizes you for all sorts of shortcomings, including not being able to read her mind.
The problem is, women can't communicate, so they nag and whine about what they aren't getting rather than directly stating what they want, need or expect. Men hate to be nagged -- it's a female strategy that simply doesn't work. Most guys respond to nagging in two ways: either they wimp out with a "Yes, dear," or they simply ignore their partner and avoid her altogether.


The statement "women can't communicate, so they nag and whine" is certainly enough to ensure your unintentional celibacy for the rest of your natural life.

First of all, women don't love to nag. It is a well known fact that women and men communicate on different planes, and those planes run parallel without intersection. Women need to specify to their man what they need/want instead of expecting him to guess. Men aren't good guessers. Seriously. Don't throw out some off the wall (as this site says) "You have no respect for me as a person", because frankly, he ain't gonna get it. Hell, another woman probably wouldn't get it. Just ask him to get off his lazy ass from the front of the TV and take out the trash. If he doesn't do it, do it yourself... And then refuse to make dinner. Childish? Perhaps, but so is refusing to take out the trash when asked in very plain and understandable terms. See ladies, you must meet your man on his level. No matter how far you must sink.

Men, you have to learn to listen. We aren't the best about saying exactly what we mean, so you have to learn to draw something meaningful (and hopefully correct) from what we say. I don't agree with the article as it suggests "walking away". When we're carrying on about you not "respecting us as people", there's something wrong. I guarantee we're upset about more than the trash. Now guys, if your girl is anything like me, and you walk away in this situation, you're likely to be hit by a heavy flying object. Depending on her strength, her anger at you, and her ability to launch heavy objects, that could be a bit painful. Just sayin'.

She's extremely jealous
Women are obsessively insecure. This is especially true when it comes to men, because females know exactly how other females operate and they know from experience how easy it is to seduce men with pouty lips and nice breasts (this is how your girlfriend got you, after all). So they're constantly vigilant about protecting their territory, eternally imagining that some woman with a bigger chest will turn your head and lure you away.A jealous woman will just assume that you're lusting after other women, even when you're not. She'll spend enormous energy testing you. If you go out with your friends for a beer, she "knows" that you're really meeting a woman (and she might even "accidentally" show up to check up on you). If you're late coming home, it's because you're having an affair. If you have platonic female friends, you just have to be sleeping with them.


Ohhhh snap. Can you say dead man? I tell you folks, either the author of this article's girlfriend never read this or he doesn't have one. Women are no more obsessively insecure than men are. We've all had a jealous significant other, haven't we? I know I have. It is the truth that we, as women, know how other women operate. And maybe this excerpt is accurate if you're looking at the teenage strata. Ladies, if you have your man simply because you flaunted those lips and breasts, you do probably have something to worry about when he's faced with another such as yourself. I'm sure your looks lured him in, but if you keep him for other reasons, you have no competition from the bimbo down the block. If he does stray for a flashy show, he's not worth reeling back in. Trust me.

Guys, a woman will rarely test a man that comes across as legit. Very rarely. Give us a reason to test you and darlin' it's going to happen. If it comes to the point where you're being tested, you will most likely fail, because guys, you're more than likely an unfaithful cad. Be glad your girl cares about keeping you.. There are those of us that upon the first inclination you're cheating, we're gone. No questions asked.

The author goes on to offer advice on how to deal with this green eyed monster:

Jealous women can make your life miserable, so you have to take charge of the situation as soon as it rears its ugly head. When your woman's eyes glow green, tell her to grow up and knock it off. Ask her if she finds certain guys attractive, and if she's thinking of sleeping with them. Tell her not to push these same thoughts onto you.
Another idea is to invite her to come along with you when you meet your buddies. Have her make friends with your female pals. If these tactics don't work, this would be the time to tell her that if she can't learn to trust you, then you'll have to leave.


The worst thing you can do is accuse her of infidelity just because she's accused you of it. That's called the "Deflection Tactic" and guys, we absolutely know what it is. We accuse you, you accuse us, we forget all about our accusation while we refute yours. It's an interesting theory and even if it does work occasionally, we will get back around to accusing you. It's merely a delay.

I do agree that it's a good idea to have her meet your friends. But my question is if you're in a relationship with her, why hasn't she met your friends already?? You unfaithful hypocritical bastard.

She's moody
Just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, women are unpredictable. That's all there is to it. One minute they're kissing you and telling you how happy they are, and the next they're crying about some remark they remember you making a year ago (about which you have no recollection whatsoever). The female brain is driven by hormones -- women think with their emotions. Maybe it all makes sense to them, but their irrational behavior just leaves men frustrated, bewildered and annoyed.
Granted, women have a monthly cycle which sends them spinning up to dizzying heights and plummeting to abysmal lows, but PMS can't be an excuse for all outright rude or bizarre behavior -- it's one thing to be cranky and quite another to be a raving bitch or psychotic.


I genuinely think this author is trying to ruin your sex lives. We are moody, we are unpredictable; I admit it. It's part of our genetic makeup. I've done the "ohI'msohappyIloveyoubabydropdeadrotinhell" thing myself. We all have. And let me apologize on behalf of us all, we can be irrational and we can leave you frustrated, bewildered, and annoyed. You can't beat our hormones, don't bother to try unless you like to lose. You, men, just need to learn the appropriate ways to diffuse the raving bitch and psychotic manifestations, beginning with the worst thing you can do is call us psychotic raving bitches. Presumably you care for this woman, yes? Then you need to sit her down and figure out what's really bothering her. There's nothing some of us in psychotic bitch mode want more than comfort. Supply it. Some of us want to be left alone. You should be able to judge between the two easily enough if she hits you with a shoe. Just hope it's not one of those ankle breaking spiked heels you guys love so much.

She's a serial flirt
You're out with your girlfriend and she's working the room, talking to every guy in sight. She won't step foot out of the house without wearing a low-cut, form-fitting dress. And any time she goes anywhere, she comes back with a fistful of guys' business cards.
She's a serial flirt -- she'll bat her eyes and wiggle her hips at every man in sight, even though she has absolutely no intention of entering into a romantic relationship with any of them. What she likes is the attention -- she has low self-esteem and needs ongoing proof that she's still attractive to the opposite sex.
Of course, when you're out with her and she's winking at some other guy, you feel like a fool, but she doesn't care -- she's busy getting off on her ego-boost.


Men, tell me you don't want your girlfriend to look hot everywhere you go.. Well? Admit it. The problem you have with this scenario isn't the low-cut, form-fitting dresses, it's that she's not constantly on your arm. First of all, if she has low self-esteem and needs ongoing proof that she's still attractive to the opposite sex you as a man, honey, are doing something very, very wrong by her. Shame on you. Secondly by saying she has absolutely no intention of entering into a romantic relationship with any of them you're saying that she's faithful. And you know she's faithful. Therefore you have a faithful woman whose self esteem you have sent plummeting. Good fucking job, Einstein.

Ladies, what the hell are you doing flirting with anything that moves while you're in a committed relationship? If your man's a loser, lose him. There are plenty of others to choose from. Smarter models, taller, thinner, better looking.. If you need validation, you're not with the right one.

Our belovedly retarded author tells us how to deal with this issue:

This is another case where you have to put your foot down early. Tell her that if she wants to be with you, then you should be the focus of her attention -- not every other guy in the room. If you don't accept the fact that she's the touchy-feely type, tell her that there's just no excuse. If she can't or won't do anything about it, then send her packing.

My advice is that if you can't accept the fact that she's the touchy-feely type, you need to pick up your own slack and figure out why she's touching-feeling everyone else. Best guess is you're leaving her wanting. As long as you leave her wanting, you're going to be watching.

She's smothering

She just won't leave you alone. She calls you 20 times a day, shows up at your doorstep, sends you cards, constantly asks you what you're feeling and where the relationship is going -- in other words, she's suffocating you.
Every time you turn around, she's underfoot. Your male stuff is long gone -- now she expects you to do "girly things" and be entirely happy with her leech-like behavior because, "We're a couple."
No guy can stand this. Men have to be free to be men, not spend all their off-hours going to antique fairs or shopping at the fabric store. Guys need space -- male space.


Nothing annoys me more than this ludicrous concept of "Man Space" and "Man Laws". It's just stupid! Are you guys really sheep? I mean be who you are without having to resort to checking the rule book. But, I will say that guys if you do nothing but "girly things", that you're definitely right, your real Male Stuff is all gone... And it's probably residing on her keychain.

Don't be a coward and don't be our bitch. The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man that you can. A relationship should be a mixture of things you each want to do. I guarantee you if you refuse to see a movie because it's a "chick flick" you stand no shot in hell of getting her to watch the game on Sunday.

Authors version of "advice":

Cut this one off at the pass right away. Explain to her that successful couples don't need to be with each other all the time, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. A lot of absence.
Help her meet people and make new friends. Introduce her to your friends' girlfriends, so that they can hang out. You can even double date with other couples to help move things along. Encourage her to plan activities for herself and become interested in a hobby.


If you want "lots of absence" you need a cat, not a girlfriend. This advice makes the author sound controlling. I'm not going to further justify this... And so we move on to the real issue in this article:

She doesn't want to have sex
At the beginning of your relationship, your girlfriend was all over you like a wildcat in heat. But now the only time she wants sex is when she has something to gain from you -- she's using access to her body as a bargaining chip to get what she wants.
Women just don't have the same sex drive as men, and they seem to have the ability to turn it off and on at will -- this is why it's so easy for them to use sex as a tool.
But sexuality is a fundamentally important ingredient in a successful relationship -- especially for men.

Well honey, if you agree with this author this far, you have the reason she no longer wants to have sex with you. This man is an idiot.

Women don't use their bodies as bargaining chips. Who wants to have sex with someone you're mad at or hurt by? Nobody. Well nobody but men that is. The simple fact is if you fuck up, you won't get fucked... At least not the way you want to be.

The fact that this author is clearly not an expert on women makes me wonder where he found the nerve to say "Women just don't have the same sex drive as men". This is entirely false. We just have greater morals than men do. Again, if we don't like you, we won't have sex with you. Sexuality is fundamentally important ingredient in a successful relationship -- especially for everyone.

Her behavior should not be tolerated. You have every right to demand sex (and good sex) from her, especially if she's forcing you to finance her entire social life. To help your sexual life, make sex romantic. Satisfy her, pamper her, and make it all about her. Agree to the kind and amount of sex you want to have. Discuss what you want with her.
If she doesn't want to have sex with you, then leave her in the dust and find somebody who does.


I hope this article is a spoof. You have no right to demand sex from anyone, be it good or bad. If you can't get sex without forcing it, you don't deserve a girlfriend, you deserve a jail cell.

Creepy, woman-hating degenerate. Geez.

Some of the comments the article received:

Chris says:
Bottom line: Never, ever marry a woman from the U.S. They are the foulest, angriest creatures in the world. If you absolutely must put your head in the matrimonial noose, at least give yourself a chance, no matter how small, by marrying a woman from the Phillipines. It's no guarantee, but it's better than your odds with an American woman. With an American woman you are guaranteed a few years of misery, and the only relief you will have is when she takes you to the cleaners in the divorce court. You'll be financially ruined, but at least you won't have to listen to her daily nagging.

Glenn says:
Fair advice...if dealing with a fair lady. Do yourself a favor, western men! Marry a foreign girl only. I did, and after 3 years of marital bliss, no nagging. No complaining. Still madly in love. Cooked meals every day. Wife turns heads every time we leave the house. Or ignore my advice, and youll end up chained to a damsel or vickie.



Only one has it right when she says:

damsel says:
THis is miserable advice for men....a recipe for disaster


And I couldn't have said it better myself.


Found here

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1 Comments:

At 7:42 PM, January 31, 2007 , Blogger Johnny Wadd said...

While some points in this article do ring true, much of it sounds like it was written by some who hates women altogether.

 

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