An episode of text messaging:
OldGuyLuvr: I told him u wanted 2 meet him he asked do I need a chaperone (sp?)
DodoBird: Tell him I chaperone all da ho's, ahahahahaaa
OldGuyLuvr: He didnt object
DodoBird: Maybe he wants 3some!
OldGuyLuvr: Nada hahaha ur not funny!
DodoBird: Hes probly 2 old 2 get it up anyway! Hahaha
OldGuyLuvr: Not funny!
DodoBird: I thought so!!
Now you have no clue what I'm talking about, so let me tell you. My friend OldGuyLuvr sort of met a man named, well, Old Dude, talked to him on the phone a lot, they decided to meet. So on this day, later in the evening (6:30) from this convo, she drove to meet him and they had dinner at Pizza Hut. They had never met before.
Now, being the wonderful friend I am I texted her straight up 6:30 and said:
DodoBird: Did you remember 2 take ur mace??
OldGuyLuvr: Nada I wont need it!
DodoBird: Sooooo is old dude hot? As hot as hot old maintenance dude? (We have a super hot 50 year old maintenance guy at work.)
OldGuyLuvr: Hes ok. Neg on as hot as maint guy.
DodoBird: Does he dig u?
OldGuyLuvr: He says yes! Now let me eat!
DodoBird: Oh my god! Ur tellin him what im saying - hahaha - ok go eat, but then ask him if hes an ax murderer & if he says no def dont tell him u r. U will never get laid that way! Trust me on this!!
OldGuyLuvr: Hahaha he thinks ur funny 2!
DodoBird: Yeah, so about that 3some ??
I didn't hear back from her the rest of the date, hahaha.