Hold On, Dorothy

First and foremost, *the storms. I was at work last Sunday the 6th and was just getting ready to leave at 5:30p.m. when they began talking about a Code Black (tornado). Well I wasn't in a very big hurry to leave after I heard that so I helped moving patients out of the rooms and into the hallways. We had moved about half of the floor when they decided to finish moving the rest when the "sirens actually went off". I went to the basement and about 15 minutes later the sirens sound. Still no Code Black is called over the intercom, but they do say "there's a tornado warning". It wasn't until 10-15 minutes after that that the hospital called the Code. Now I don't know why that is exactly, one would assume it's better safe than sorry when shits dropping out of the sky and sucking people away to Oz, but whatever. The "logic" was explained to me by Hermann who said "they want to make sure there's actually a tornado before calling a code black because what would happen if someone panicked and fell down the stairs? There'd be a huge lawsuit!" Um.. Right. I wasn't feeling argumentative, mind you, but the illogic of that statement was too much to pass up. Hermann does this a lot, fills in the blanks of what she doesn't know or understand with shit she makes up and usually doesn't make sense. "But," I said, "what if a tornado hits and we lose all the patients on the top floors, do you think there'll be a lawsuit then? Or how about everyone in the hospital, what happens if there's no intra-hospital warning when there is outside and the hospital is leveled because it didn't warn the occupants of a coming tornado when the county itself announced the need to 'take shelter immediately'?" She didn't say much else. I mean come on woman, just say you don't know why they haven't been screaming out code warnings. I couldn't figure out why myself either. If I don't know something, it's ok not to know it either, because it's the "in" thing to do.

So the code's called, everyone is coming in off the streets to head to the tunnel (long, concrete hallway reaching from the hospital to the two neighboring buildings, entirely underground, and nothing but a parking lot above) for shelter. The employees that aren't occupied with patient care are in the basement watching TV. OldGuyLuvr and I head up the emergency exit to ER and outside to watch the massive wall cloud hovering over the entire west side of our city. I've seen some storms I tell you, even saw that tornado last year, but I have never before seen anything quite like this. The entire cloud is moving in one huge circle. One of my coworkers upstairs was looking out the window from the 3rd floor on the other side and said the clouds dropped a hook angling towards the ground. It didn't land though, but dissipated. We watched for 10 minutes or so outside with a few nurses and one or two general public when an ER doc came out and said "we've had a touchdown, could we all enter the building now, please?" We did so. Here would be great to insert some drama, but there wasn't much else. The tornado touchdown was west of here and clipped the edge of town. If there was any damage, I haven't heard about it.

Unlike Greensburg, we have been very lucky.

At around 7, they set off the all-clear and we headed outta there. For those of you concerned, while this was going on my Mother had grabbed my Dingo and gone to my Great-Grandma's house to shelter in the basement. She had forgotten her damned cell phone (which she takes everywhere now and usually attached to her ear) and I called her upwards of about fifty times every five minutes with no answer. I hop in my beloved little car, head to the parking lot driveway and straight into a flood. It was that way most of the way home. Most of our streets were flooded. I make it there with no real issues.

Next day I head to work at 6 a.m., get off work at 2:30 p.m., start my car and it's not happy about it. It shows its displeasure by flashing me the "Check Engine Soon". I sigh. I call Mom and ask her to follow me to the Car Hospital because my car is like my dog (only on much less of a scale) and when it needs to see the doc, it goes right away. We go, drop off my car, talk to them at 5ish, they tell me it's running fine but they keep pulling up the same code for the purge solenoid that they "fixed" a month ago. I tell them to keep the car and figure it out. Next day, Tuesday, still no word on my car. They've reset the codes so the engine light's off but it keeps telling them whatever it tells them when it says "what you fuckheads fixed is still broken". They tell me they know something's wrong but they can't find it and would I like a rental car? We'll cover it of course. I say yes, and they send me to the rental place where I'm handed a set of keys to an '07 Grand Prix. Ok, I'm pacified, for now.

Yesterday, I returned the Grand Prix for my beloved Stratus that they say is still not fixed, but they did re-replace the solenoid "just in case it was bad" and I am to bring the car right back if it acts up again. Onward...

OldGuyLuvr. Where do I start? Ok, um.. I get this text on 4/10: Jose came over fuckd me and left had the nerve to say i was lying about the last time i had sex he just had a real little dick !!!!!

Uh yeah. I of course wanted details but she said it was too long to text out as I was at work at the time. Not much else was said until I got a phone call on the 2nd from her panicked, saying I needed to call her. I told her I couldn't but to text me the problem; here: Too much to text but i need to find out jose last name im sure he stole my cks

I called her. How could I not? She told me that after they did, um, what they did, that he jumped out of bed, got dressed, grabbed something out of her closet, and took off. Then she told me that her bank told her there was a $399 check to LN Internet (I really don't even know what that is) but I dug around online to try to figure it out (I still don't know, but the closest thing is Lotus Notes which not so strangely enough the hospital uses for email -

and from this point I managed to conduct this entire thing in my head about how he stole her checks to get software to hack the hospital's email, rob the accounts, poison the patients and maim the staff... All in her name.)

She calls the cops. For real! I couldn't make this shit up! They come to her house where she has to tell them that "he's the only one" that's been in her bedroom, and how she doesn't know his phone number, his address, or even his last name, just that he works at the hospital. The cops, I shit you not, go to the hospital to the section he works while he's working, and questions him about stealing her checks. He of course denies it. Duh.

Not even two hours later I get another phone call that I don't answer. She texts me one line: i was wrong

It seems that I found my cks it was a fraud on my bank account again

I text her back saying something like (I didn't save it) "from now on don't fuck people you don't know!" to which she responded: It had nada to do w him ! I know we just fuckd ! Im the one to blame now i have to go and chng my ckn acct again

She wanted to apologize to him, said that she needs to tell him sorry. I instructed her otherwise, told her she'd lost her damn mind if she was going to apologize to a man she fucked once and who took off immediately afterwards and she just accused of stealing her checks. I believe she's listened so far as I am the obvious voice of reason here.

In the meantime, I had no idea who this guy was. I found out on Tuesday. Let's see if I can explain this satisfactorily... He's short, like shorter than I am by a little and I'm 5'3 tops. He's skinny, like gross skinny, skinnier than I am and I'm like.. Well, none of your business. But he's skinny. He's mexican, has the accent and all. I'm pretty sure he's not illegal though. But I could be wrong. He's just.. She's just... Wow. I feel very nauseous right now.

Here, have some *pictures of the flood until I recuperate.

Shows how far the water's receded
Yes, that is a church
One of the flood markers 15 1/2 feet above flood level. City guy said it'd gone down from 17 since that morning.
This is a creek that's flooded - I'm posting it because it's pretty

Now, these pictures aren't of a river or lake or anything else. These are mostly of a street that's flooded. I asked someone if they knew how far across the water went and they guessed it at around a mile. From one side you can't see the other.

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