The Toilet Paper Baby (TPB) visited my house this morning. I was passed out on the couch in my computer room and woke up hearing the horrible dial-tone dialing *enter whatever description* noise that is when the computer is connecting to the internet via dial up. Yes, I'm on dial up. Don't even tell me about it. I don't have cable TV either. There, now you know all my nasty little secrets.
Anyway, here's the thing, every night when I'm done on the 'net I unplug the modem and plug my phone back in (I don't have a phone jack in here, so I use a long cord. Quit laughing!) well, I'm sure I did my nightly routine and unplugged the modem and plugged in the phone. Well, obviously the modem had to be plugged in for TPB to connect me to the net, right? Exactly. Not only did TPB want to check something out online, but TPB also plugged my computer into my phone line... And connected at 34.7Kbps. What's up with that? Proof that the TP Baby is not only real, but insane.
Still not convinced?
The TPB also unlocks doors. In the last house I lived in (a rental), the TP Baby kept unlocking my front door. He unlocks my mom's van doors. He hides my checkbook. One year, he lost my tax refund check. That could have been the gremlins though, but maybe not (that's another story altogether). It's not just me he's after either, it's my Mom too. My Mom may be
I also suspect, but cannot yet prove, that it's TPB that changes my radio stations to static. I also firmly believe that it's him that keeps putting every pair of shoes I own down where the Nugget can get ahold of them. Oh I could show pictures. It may also be the TPB that keeps pooping on the floor - because no little 8lb Nugget dog could possibly take enough in to put that much out.
I'm kidding now, because that way my readers won't know for sure if I'm a real TPB believer or just joking around. My reputation is on the line here.
So onward. I've requested enrollment in an obscene number of classes, including English Comp. Oh let me explain that one. I got an Incomplete last semester in English. That's funny, huh? Me? Not pass English?! Well, it's true. But it's not because I'm not totally spiffy at it, it's because writing all those goddamned essays just proved to be quite low on my to-do list. But I'm retaking it now. I'm also taking several classes in my Health Info major. I don't even want to do the Health Info thing anymore, but I'm so close to finishing. If I get enrolled in all I asked to be, I'll be well over a fulltime student. Oh! And I enrolled in Criminology too! Because, how awesome does that have to be?
Of course, I'll still be procrastinating my homework and bitching about it.