2.29.2008

Simply Basic Cotton Bouquet

Let it be known that I'm a junkie for pretty smelling clearance items. I see these things marked down and I lose all sense of reason and start seeing happy things and beautiful people. Seriously fucks me up. I see the price, I grab the bottle and flip it over - this product not tested on animals - I don't even smell it for godsake! I throw it in the cart and reach for the next.

I won't tell you how much I spent nor will I tell you just how many I bought. But I will tell you I can't find a single link for the Cotton Bouquet product and I think I may have figured out why.

First, I'll give you the good news. It smells divine. I used it after my shower and my skin is very, very soft. It also has a slight glitter to it. I am in love. This is a wonderful, amazing, beautiful product that makes people happy!

Except Nugget.

I come bouncing radiantly out of the bathroom, eager to share my newfound favorite product of all ever and there's nobody here but my boys. Here comes the Nug, I hold out my hand, embellished and magically softened by Cotton Bouquet body lotion (as is the rest of my body) and he wrinkles his nose at me and pulls away. Sure that I had simply misunderstood, I moved forward and offered him my hand again. I was right, he wrinkled his nose and pulled away - this time breaking into a stubby little canter in the opposite direction. Huh. I must be crazy. I bring my hand to my own nose.. No, this stuff smells heavenly! He must be crazy!

I wait a bit and go in search of my crazy little dog. Here Nugget, I say, how about now? He sniffs. He looks up at me. He shows me his teeth. He has never done this before! He curled his little lip up and showed me every tooth in his vicious little yap!

He hasn't come near me since.

I'm self conscious now.

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