7.20.2008

Man-Bashing Volume I

I don't know if The Mechanic's in lust with me or not, although I have to assume it's his bits thinking and not his brain..

Why?

Because the entire thing is a recipe for fucking disaster. The Mechanic and I have met once, once mind you, and we've had plans three times... That's right, he's stood me up 2 out of the 3 times we had plans. First time was because his mom had heart surgery.. I don't know if I told you about that or not. His mom (yes, another momma's boy) had surgery and The Mechanic asked me to come to the hospital the day she had it. I told him I'd try, but that I was having to study for my A&P class. I had met him the one time previous to her surgery, and he was asking me to come to the hospital for him. Anyway, I was going to go -- I even told my study partner that we might have to relocate to the hospital to study for awhile because his mom was going into surgery. The night before, he texts me (which btw, he prefers texting to talking too) and tells me that "if" I'm coming to the hospital tomorrow, that there will be a "few family members there". Ok. It's their mom/aunt/whatever not mine, therefore it's their party and I'm not going. And why should I? I met the guy ONCE! I'm not up to meeting half his goddamn family at the same time. Decision made, problem solved...

In theory.

Things changed after I didn't go to the hospital. I texted him a couple times that day asking how things were going, and if she was ok, etc. and he responded that she was doing fine. No further conversation. Next day, I'm at the Pancake Place with my Study Partner again and I text him "I assume everything's going ok?" to which he responds "yeah, just busy". I say "ok" and leave it alone.

The next day is the 4th of July -- I had invited him and his daughter Dee to My City (they live in S.J., about 45 minutes away) to go to Pinky’s house with me because we're going to BBQ (mine FAKE meat, of course), make s'mores, and watch the fireworks because Pinky lives right across the street from the State Fairgrounds. I figured Pinky's kids could deal with Dee and I could get to know The Mechanic better with Pinky as my support.

I probably haven't told you that the entire time The Mechanic and I were together, the first time we met at the movie, that I spent most of the time hoping, hoping, that he wouldn't touch me. The whole thing was so uncomfortable... And I'm not sure why. He's not that attractive, etc., but he's not bad looking, but it was seriously like I was with my uncle, or some older family member. I wanted to give him another shot because that night was uncomfortable, yes, but I also hadn't been on a real "date" in ages, so I thought maybe it was me...

Anyway, the 4th, at 6:20pm, he texts me to tell me they aren't going to make it because he has to stay with his mommy because she wasn't doing well. The firework thing starts at 10ish and therefore everything else would start by 7 or so. Now remember, I had just texted him the day before and he told me that everything was fine, and now he can't come because his mom isn't doing too well. Ok, uh-huh. It was obvious that he was pissy because I hadn't come to the hospital.. Since I had met him, I was hearing from him every day, morning, noon, night, etc., more than previously, and suddenly, very little. Ok, I get it. After he told me he wasn't coming, I told him that I knew he wasn't because I hadn't heard anything from him for awhile. He reiterated that his mom wasn't doing too well and I told him he could still have shot me a couple texts. To which, and I kid not, he responded that "I've just been so busy, haven't had time..." and there was more to that text, but um, hello? He hadn't had time to text me.

Whatever. I back off. Waaaaay off. Deleted him from my phone. I hear from him 2-3 days later asking if I was still talking to him or if I had given up on him. I told him it was him that quit talking to me. I tell him that in fact, he said he hadn’t had time for me. He says “I’m sorry if you misunderstood…” Oh yeah, he did. I shoot back his text that said in no uncertain terms that he was too busy to talk to me. He says “I guess that’s right”. Some idle chatter ensues, and I finally tell him I'm not up to playing second. He backs off.

A few days later he texts again asking if I still want to talk. We talk again, and have been since.. And during this time that we were again speaking he:

Asks me how I would feel if he asked me to move to S.J. so that his daughter can finish school there (she's 14 - 5 more years to go). I respond that I would tell him that "I would say that I need to stay in My City so I can finish school here." He tells me that I wouldn't have to pay any living expenses. Somewhere in here he has also invited me to go to Branson with him and his daughter in August. Let me say again here, that I’ve met him ONCE. I say I’ll try to go, depending on my work schedule, because jesus I have got to get a job, and he says that the vacation is on him, I won’t need any money.

Yeah. So jumping ahead to yesterday. We had plans from about 4 days to go to The Exploration Place in Wichita on Saturday because there’s an exhibit that my A&P teacher told us about called The Body Within. It’s real human corpses, etc. and shows all sorts of A&P stuff. I’ve been wanting to go for awhile. So he says it sounds good, I text him all the info one night after he goes to bed, address, phone number, etc. I assume he’ll tend to the details, get directions, hours, etc. Oh! His daughter’s going too.. Did I fail to mention that? Anyway, Friday night we talk (and when I say “talk” here, just read “text”, mmkay?) and he tells me that he didn’t call to get directions or anything, that we’ll just ‘wing it’. Ok, whatever, I’m easy. I have plans Saturday evening at 6 with mom and a friend of hers that I told him I’d like to make it to, but I can get out of it if I need to. He tells me he’ll be off work at noon and can be in My City by 2.

I cancel plans with my mom and her friend, because the Exploration Place?! Oh hell, 3-5 (it’s an hour drive to Wichita ) isn’t enough time there. And I really want to check this place out. So I get up Saturday morning (yesterday) and I drag my ass to the shower, I cover myself in this wonderful salt scrub I’ve got to make my skin soft, shampoo my hair, shave my legs, and use my beloved peppermint foot scrub. I get out of the shower, cover myself with sparkly lotion (Ralph by Ralph Lauren – Ex-Loser got it for me, actually). I wore Ralph on our (me and The Mechanic) first “date” and he commented later that I smelled really good. But anyway, I cover myself with sparkly lotion and I even put it on my feet because sparkles accentuate my gorgeous red nail polish. I blow dry my hair completely straight and add volumizing spray and shining agent. I sit down and paint my fingernails. It’s a color I’ve never used before and it’s sparkly green. Yes, I know red toes and green fingers, but I didn’t have time to repaint my toenails and the red color is Pinky’s so I didn’t have it anyway. I put on my most comfortable “girl shirt” – I say girl shirt because my friends think that my usual jeans and a tshirt just aren’t as spiffy as I should wear – and a pair of jeans, my amber-stoned flip flops (from Pinky) that everyone loves and Study Partner even made me wear to Study Partner 2’s wedding, so they’re not just your average every day flip flops.

I looked good. Even by my standards. And my standards for good are really high. I was hot.

I wasn’t trying to impress him, btw, but it was a date! And I had a reason to get hot!

Can you guess what happens? I’ll bet you can!

At 2:20 – He’s supposed to be in My City by 2, remember? – He texts me. He says, and I quote: “Not gonna make it today ds sick to her stomach n I just got off work”

I asked him what was wrong with her, he says she said she threw up that morning and was queasy. I told him to get her some vinegar and leave her with Grandma.

Long story short, we bicker about it all afternoon, while I go out with mom to the Pancake Place and then most of the evening while I’m at home, watching a movie. He tells me that he can’t just leave her when she’s sick, and that he’d take care of me just the same if I was sick.

Now here’s the thing – while he was at work, the kid stayed with grandma or someone else.. But suddenly when he’s off work, she has to be with him. Why? Because he says she’s a daddy’s girl, she’s always with him when she feels good, she won’t leave him when she’s sick.

Nice, huh? I have a Momma’s Boy with a Daddy’s Girl. Oh and he has sisters too!

He promises to make it up to me, I ask how. He wants to go to Ark City to gamble. Ok, that sounds good, doesn’t it? There’s a catch. His daughter’s going. But she’ll be staying with his nephew while we’re gambling. Then presumably, she’ll be with us that night.

Oh and Branson? She’ll be there, of course, and we can all stay at his neice’s house! Or.. We can get a hotel room.

I think, if he can’t leave his fucking daughter when she’s puking a little, then she doesn’t need to be with us on our dates, do you?

And this is all over a man I met ONCE!

It’s not going to work, I know this, and I’ve always known this, and I’m newly reminded of why I don’t date men with fucking children.. And a Momma’s Boy! I pissed someone off in a former fucking life.

But I do want to go to Ark City , and I do want to go to Branson. And hell, he offered to help me with nursing tuition. That whole post of mine on the blog was the truth, except us hitting it off so well.

Now here it is, Sunday, and he’s telling me that he’ll see me either this week or “next weekend for sure”.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Most men who really wanted to see someone would break their necks seeing that person. Especially this early in the game. All he’s doing is pissing me off that he honestly thinks he’s something special enough for a 30 year old, single, childless female is going to waste this kind of time on him.

He flashes the cash, yeah.. But he won’t let me touch it. I just wanna touch it!

And I just texted The Mechanic after he told me that he'll have more time shortly when "things start slowing down at work". So I said "Look, I'm not interested in debating this. It'll slow down for you at the time it speeds up for me. Make time, without your family, and more of it. If this isn't important enough to do that, then it's not going to work."

I'm shocked by his response. Really I am. I thought I was unshockable.

"I have to make living n my familys stood by my side thru good n bad i dont do ultimatums dont make me choose between u or them"

Are you fucking kidding me?

Delete his number Vix, Be done with him. What the fuck am I doing?!

Oh, I know. I'm starting shit.

"I'm not making you choose between us. Are you telling me that you can't have a relationship without your family in the middle of it? Can you go out alone with someone? Actually wait. Do you even WANT a relationship with me?"

Drumroll please?

While we're waiting, did I mention that I'm clearly better than anything he's had before? Oh yes. And that's not conceit. I'm literally about 1/2-1/3 his size, but he's not really that fat, just a big guy. He's a little under 6' tall, beginning to go bald. He had an accident some time ago, crushed several vertebrae, but you can't tell by looking at him. When we went to the movies, I noticed quite a few people looking at us really weird. I would guess they couldn't figure out what we were doing together. Oh, and he owns a small house, but lives in a trailer. A trailer. In KANSAS. "Like a Kansas tornado through a double-wide." Like I'll be spending the night there in tornado season. And his Mommy lives next door! His sister lives god-only-knows where, but she's close. He's surrounded by women.. Which is a girlfriend's nightmare. This also means that if I were to ever have problems with anyone in his family -- he'd take their side. Fuck this. I just wanted to go to Branson!

What a way to start a relationship, eh? Meet him once, and hate him already, hahahaha.

I swear to Christ I must have some bad karma.

..........

Oh, here it is.. "I told you i wanted someone to share life with thru good n bad a big family isnt always good but there always there no matter what i do want a relationship but im beginning to believe were each expecting different things"

Can we say delusional? I'll keep you posted.

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