Case Studies in Stupidity: Volume III [The Ego of Man Never Ceases to Amaze Me]

I met a guy ONCE.. IGNORED him most of the night --- And then I get this text today: "Hi. Im sorry that i didnt call. and i wantd 2 tell u that i thnk we shuld b friends. We both hate each others fav bands! We're just 2 dif thats all" --- Are you serious? I mean, really.

Let me rewind a bit to give you the story. A friend of mine from work just had a guy move in next door to her. She thinks he’s just so good looking, so she gave him my number and told him she thought he should call me and that I’d be coming to her place that night after work. He called, I was surprised, he told me he’d see me shortly. I went over to my friend’s house and he came over. Not my type. At all. Very thin, big nose, about 3 years younger than me. He seemed nice, but I was drinking, so probably most people would seem nice. He tells my friend how beautiful I am, and what a nice person I seem to be, every time I leave the room. He leaves about 5 in the morning, but texts me shortly after he gets home:

Him: “Hi! Its roy. Did u need a ride or anything? I can stay up a while longr if u wantd to hang out longr.”

I told him he was tired, my ride was on the way, etc.

Him: “Oh ok. Hav a goodnite! I was tryn 2 b smooth and kiss u gnite lol.”

To which I responded, “Better luck next time!”

Now back to the present.

So in response to today's text from him, me: “You didn’t call because I hate your favorite bands? Did I read that right?”

Him: “No. We r too dif. And I didn’t want 2 lead u on further than I already did (askn 4 a kiss). I wantd 2 try cuz we’re single but I dnt thnk it wuld work out”

Me: Ok, for one, you don’t exactly know anything about me to make a judgment call like that. Secondly though, I’m single for a reason, and that’s because I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t have the time or patience for it.”

Him: Alrite. There was a misundrstandn. And ur rite – I dnt knw u. But I thot u were lookn 4 a bf…eventually. So then u just wantd 2 meet sum1 new 2 hang with?”

Me: “I’m not looking for anything at all. Did *my friend* give you that impression? I figure what will be will be. And ok so you didn’t call, why feel the need to explain?”

Him: She did give that impression. And I just thot u had the rite 2 knw, just in case u were curious. Im not lookn 4 anythng serious eithr… just a physical thng w one girl”

Him: “I mite sound like an ass but my ex wife turnd me off 2 anything serious 4 a long time”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what she said, but as judgmental as you apparently are, its good you’re not looking for anything serious.”

Him: U dnt knw me well enuf 2 say that. So, if I said: u drink like a fish – wuld that b judgemental… Or wuld it b a reasonably accurate observation 4 that nite?”

Me: “Oh my. I must’ve hit a nerve!”

Him: “U did :) …but by sayn that ur basicaly stumpd aren’t u?! Lol”

Me? Stumped? Oh yes. Always!

Me: “Stumped? No. Just trying to keep it cordial. I could mention though that maybe it was your own alcohol consumption that led you to think you had a chance with me.”

Him: “Gues I hit a nerve 2! But if u wana get mean.. The only thing my drnkn did was put on beergoggles. which made, yes even u, sumwhat kissable but not realy lol."

Me: "Mhmm. Well, what does that say really, as much as I drank, and you still couldn't score. You think I mostly ignored you for a reason, maybe?"

Him: "I apologize. That was cruel. U r prety and intresting. Witty 2. this turnd out all wrong. Im stoppn now. Please 4give me. I mean u no harm"

Me: "Your opinion of me really means nothing. Don't apologize. It almost makes me feel bad when I call you a loser and tell you not to contact me again. Almost."

Him: “I didn’t try 2 score remember? And u weren’t talkn. U were on ur phone. But enuf already. Not gona keep doin this! Im not lookn 4 this eithr! Lol”

Him: “But im not a loser. Losing u is WINNING”

Me: “You can't lose what you couldn't get in the first place, kiddo :)”

Him: “Geez just stop already! Lol. U make it sound like ur all that or sumthng. So ok - we r in agreement - ur ugly and so am i. Big whoop. Movin along..”

Me: “Nowhere to move along to except: don't contact me again, loser.”

So he called me a few names after that, like fat, ugly, etc., that didn't warrant further response.

And people seriously ask me why I prefer to remain in the absence of male company.

1 comment:

Toni said...

gotta luv idiots like this