10.16.2009

Case Studies in Stupidity: Volume IV [Obvious Idiocy]

So I dated this guy a few months back, *James. I was in lust. He was in "love", supposedly. I say this not because he treated me as if he were in love with me, but because of the things he said.

Examples include (and as usual, any punctuation {aside from exclamation marks} has been added for your reading ease): "Goddamnit, I wanna marry you!", "I love everything about you.", "You're my girl!", and "You're perfect! I love you."

So anyway, we went out a few times, and while I can't say it was the worst time I've ever had, it certainly wasn't the best. Admittedly, lust can cloud my judgment at times, fool me into thinking I'm having a blast. This was one of those times. Let me also add that lust has progressive reverse blindness. What was once foggy and confusing becomes crystal clear and obvious. This man (and when I say "man" here, read "child-like person of the male gender") isn't remotely physically attractive. Seriously. What was I thinking? I admit it, I have no comprehensible answer.

To get on with the story, we were supposed to go out one night; he texted me a few hours before, said "I can't wait to see you tonight!" And didn't show up. In fact, for the next 3 months, I didn't hear from him. One day, in my Facebook inbox, I get this: "hey are you holding up with school and work? I still think about you, you know." Seriously. I didn't answer. He begins texting me: Vix, I made the biggest mistake of my life I'm so sorry!" Hmm.. Ok. So I ignore him. A few more texts along this line and finally I respond. I say "You never did tell me why you stood me up."
He says, "I was dating **Carrie."
Umm. Ok. I say "The only thing I ever asked from you was to be honest with me."
He answers, and I swear I couldn't make this shit up, "You didn't ask me if I was dating anybody else." And when I didn't respond to that, "I asked you to be my girl first, and you said no!"

I gave him a wordy, not-particularly-friendly response that basically boiled down to "fuck off." This was in August. Periodically, I got emails from him (like: Goddam you look good!!!!!!!!!!) *eyeball roll* But it wasn't until September that I said anything else to him. We had the Saving Abel/Hinder concert on September 18th, and I wanted to go. I text him and tell him to get tickets. He does. We go to the concert - and I have to tell you, it was an awesome concert. Saving Abel is even greater than Hinder. He spent the concert hanging all over me, and honestly it creeped me out, but I managed to peel him off of me. After the concert, we went out with a friend of mine from work. He takes me home about 3 in the morning, we talk briefly in his car. He keeps asking me to give him another chance, he'll make it up to me, etc. etc. I tell him I've moved on and that I'm not interested in a relationship. I tell him that the loose beer cans he has in his car are considered "open container" should he get pulled over and then goodnight. I get out of his car, he follows me to the gate, grabs my arm and slams the gate shut. "I made a huge mistake, Vixen!"

"Yes, you did. And you're about to make another. Let go." And I pull my arm away and reopen the gate.

I go inside. About 3 minutes later, there's this loud banging noise. I peek out the window and watch his car pull away. I then go outside to find that he's launched the remaining beer cans at my house. Charming, yes? He called me four times that same morning. Then texted me after that. I've responded sporadically since, but haven't seen him again.

A few days ago I got a friend request (on facebook) from a girl (***Stacy) that's on his friends list. I messaged her and asked if they were dating. She said no. I added her. The next day, I noticed that she was no longer one of his friends. Last night, I told him to quit texting me, that I wasn't interested. Called him a liar, and told him he was wasting my time. He didn't respond.

This morning I wake up, check facebook on my phone, and am greeted with "James and Stacy are now in a relationship."

Fascinating. No really, this really fascinates me. They had re-added each other to their friends lists, overnight, and succumbed to relationship bliss, overnight. Her status states that she's "Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and his, well his, like his neurons, are firing blanks.




*Name changed to protect the stupid.
**Name changed to protect the clueless.
***Name changed to protect the.. Well, another stupid person.

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