Most Recent Almost-Date: FAIL

I met a guy online.

I've started a lot of posts out similar to this, yes? Have you caught on that I like blind dating? I do. I find that I don't have the time or patience for the whole "take it slow and get to know each other" bullshit.

Hi. You're hot. I'm 6'2", 250lbs, no children, never married, shoe size 12, and I like long walks through the countryside when my shitty car breaks down on a dirt road in the middle of the Bible Belt.

No, that wasn't a true story. My point is that I'm a big believer in knowing the right one when you see them. I don't need a dozen dates to know whether I like you or not, nor am I willing to bother with eleven mundane meetings in hopes the twelfth will set off fireworks. I want to see a man, think he looks good, get the basics - because if the basics don't make a good foundation, then baby, it ain't gonna work - meet him and if sparks fly I'll fan the flame, but if they don't then there's no love loss and it was nice to meet ya.

Make sense? Yes.

So I met a guy online. I don't mind telling you that he is one of the best looking men I've ever seen pictures of. He sends me an insult wrapped in a compliment, "Hey, you're beautiful, but I got kids so *statement deleted* (because I don't like filth on my blog, you know)". A pretty derogatory comment aimed at my dislike for children since he has a couple. I retaliate. Normally, such a comment wouldn't get a reaction from me at all - but, as I said, he is one of the best looking men I've ever seen pictures of. I mentioned that, didn't I? And, once in awhile, I'm blinded by beauty. This was one of those times.

He asks for my number. At first I stand strong and say no. But then, a day or two later, I realized I had gotten up early before class and logged on just to see if he'd responded to my email. Yeah. I.. Got.. Up.. EARLY.

So I gave him my number.

We texted for a couple weeks. Seemed to really hit it off. Made plans to meet. He.

I wait a few days. Finally, I email him saying "I told you I was easy to get rid of and that's exactly what you're doing. I just hope you're sure it's what you want to do." Tell him to take care and leave it at that.

He responds that he's not trying to get rid of me, I'm a wonderful person, he knows I like lots of attention but that just ain't him and maybe it's because he hadn't met me yet, that sometimes he just goes off into his own little world and doesn't talk to anyone and it has nothing to do with me..

It's him.

It's not you baby, it's me.

Damn right it's you and not me! Bipolar bastard.

We're still "poking" each other on facebook.

I'm not going to meet him. I'm so past that.

But I still like looking at him.



lucky one said...

i can't believe he used that line.
well remember one thing, he is loosing out on being with a wonderful girl.
looking is good.

Vixen said...

He emailed for awhile, then quit.. again. I finally emailed him and said, "Yeah, your bipolar behavior just isn't working for me. Take care." To which he responded so originally, "whatever".

Idiot. Gorgeous idiot, but not gorgeous enough for that shit. I deleted him :)

lucky one said...

never hang with the bipolar. scary people. :D