Everyone in the Ocean

Seems to have contacted me via this site. So I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you.


My name is *****, I don't have much of a profile, as I erased it all, and hid my account awhile back, because trying to meet people on here seemed a bit ridiculous, and I originally made my account to mess with a friend that said they joined. People can type whatever words they want, but that doesn't always convey how it would feel to be around that person.

I guess my main question that I would ask is, you don't happen to smoke pot do you?

Take care.

His profile says this:

***** : Phuck you superficial twats.

I seem to message people, but never hear a response back, I cant believe there are so many superficial twats on a dating site. Not to mention I guess manners were never taught.

Most profiles I have seen say something to the effect about truth, and loyalty...etc. Yet I can never seem to find anyone that the aforementioned things really satisfied them. Seems like BS to me.

Those of you that dont have the decency to reply back, feel free to go phuck yourselves.

Another one, without a picture, smoothly asks:

Would you be open to a relationship with a married man?

This user has "closed his account". Betcha wifey found out.

Here's a 22 year old that can't keep his shirt on:

good evening how are u doing tonight ? ur a very gorgeous woman.. i hope we get to taalk more u look like a very caring woman

First of all, I'm not quite getting the jump from "gorgeous" to "caring". Caring makes me think of a grandma. He has no kids though - I should have totally jumped on that. So rare these days. *sigh*

32 year old man:

You are hot, if you want my picture just text me *** *** ****

*giggle* That almost worked!


Hello there, my name is ****, I live in California, and will be working working around the ******, Kansas area for the next 3 weeks. I am staying at the Comfort Inn in ********. Let me know if you might like to meet up. I have a cell phone if you are interested. I would be willing to meet you somewhere. Thanks.

Here's one I actually did respond to:

Him: Hi
Him: Hi
Him: Hello?
Him: Why won't you respond??!
Me: Sorry - I like your profile aside from the "fat chick" clause. I've got a little extra weight now, but even if I didn't, lets say I become a cow someday? No, thanks.

Him: Im just trying to keep the fat toothless rednecks away
Me: You attract a lot of fat toothless rednecks? Well honey, you are in Kansas, after all.
Him: They stalk me on this site.i hate to be rude but i had too.

Thankfully, I don't hate to be rude.

Me: I can't vouch for all these 'fat toothless rednecks' that 'stalk' you on this site, but for their sake I feel obligated to point out that you emailed me four times without getting a response and that you look a little rednecky too - smile for me, boy, lets see your pearlies!

Hm. No response.

One guy messaged several times and after getting no response, I get a message titled "Nevermind..... You can't be real":

You are probably a guy huh? Put a picture of a good lookin gal on POF and see what response you get when u put nothing down for profile information..
pretty funny.... good one.

So I responded: Ok, that peaked my interest. So let me ask a guy's opinion, why would a guy do that?

Him: For the same reason my 12 year old daughter created a fake Facebook account. boredom and to mess with people. You're profile fits that description and I'm guessing that you are on here for anything but to find a person to be in a relationship with because you say nothing about yourself and nothing about what you're looking for. But I bet u get a lot of responses because you're picture is one of a good looking lady. I'm right huh?

Me: Umm.. No. Well, you're right about me getting a lot of responses, but that's it.

Him: What are u looking for? Why don't u put it in ur profile?
Him: I'm real. My name is ***** *******. As Bart Simpson says, "Who the Hell are you?"

Him: Check me out on FB. Facebook.com/************ that is if you are real. friend me there.

I got a few more messages from him later, but only barely responded.

That's it for now, folks!

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