6.23.2011

Downtown Dining and Entertainment District

First and foremost, that while normally I find this sort of thing kinda stupid, I now have a few new names for my vagina. As I try them out, I will undoubtedly let you know the results..




From the Love Your Vagina website (which I was slightly saddened to click to find it's a tampon company) here are some from the list of names submitted by adoring tampon fans (if you want to see the whole list, click the link. I don't have the kind of patience to post them all):


Cracker box * Spongebob * Chupacabras (Google chupacabras.. Go on.. Do it.) * Frozen mouse (Um.. What?) * Pickle bucket * Shenis (Penis envy much?) * Loveglove * Candy patch * Amazonia * Girly-bits * Vagtastic voyage * Mangina (*See “Shenis“) * Pink umbrella * Inbetweenie * Trouser flower * Bermuda triangle * Kittenbits * Venus manbit trap * Home entertainment center * Vaginamite (Love it!) * Fire crotch (Herpes.) * Pink popsicle (I‘m confused.) * Pawpaw * Mojo-jojo * Down there area *Whisker puss * Wolfie * Floozie (Name says it all..) * Shaven heaven * Dr muffenstein * Scrambled eggs between the legs (Poetry is not always appropriate.) * Rocket socket * Penny spender * Velvet * Puss'n bits * The magical "v" * Vagimatic (the hoover of vaginas!) * Pink cookie * Consumer of worlds (Yes, folks, it is that big.) * Money slot (Yes! Yes!!) * Cosmic oyster * Pandora (Must have children - released the evils into the world) * Snazzy tassie * Minx * Fairy cave (Because little, winged creatures may fly out.) * Panty puppet * Contraption (Like a leg trap.) * Toothless wolverine! (Why would you call your vagina a wolverine? Really, why?) * The key hole (And baby, only you hold the key.) * Pussalicious * The notorious v.a.g. * Vagus maximus * Divine dimension * Man snare (As in he’d chew off his own penis to escape?) * Pink kryptonite (I‘m diggin‘ this one. Count me onboard) * Pink bits * Vagine de la femme * Bermuda (Once you enter, you never come out.) * Raggamuffin * The snack box * The delicate creation of god (*snicker*) * Schnitzel * She-who-must-not-be-named. * Mingella (For some reason, ever time I read this, I think “shigella”.) * Muffy the minge * Vagzilla * Fuck center (Nothing like stating the obvious.) * Antique closet (Dust off the cobwebs) * Smitten kitten * Vaggle dazzle * Honey suckle! (Honeysuckle, yeah, right..) * Goblet of fur * Anastacia beaverhousen * The palace of miss clitoris * Hotspot * Disneyland (It's the happiest place on earth) * The control room * Port in a storm * The afro * Pee-biscuit * Red thunder down under * Vajula * Off limits * Hairy beast (Eww.) * That thing (That…thing) * Gizmo (Don’t get it wet..) * The hairy fairy (Again, eww.) * Tourniquette (Rock on, rock on!) * Spoiled kitten * Sacred v * The cuntessa of honeypot valley * The lips between the hips * Growler! (Why?) * Darth vader (I can hear it breathing now.) * The last supper (Food poisoning? *See “Mingella“) * The apparatus (And “vagina“ is too technical?) * Diamond snatcher (Amen, sister!) * Pinkbit * Squish-mitten * Uncle fester (I don‘t understand.) * Barak obama (I still don‘t understand.) * Vagasaurus sex * Her vadgesty * Princess fatty (I wouldn‘t recommend calling anything of mine fat.) * Mermaid's purse * Pink taco: best eating south of the border * The great woo * Twinkle twinkle vaginkle * Kittybox * Peepee door (Someone needs an anatomy lesson..) * Absolute rad vadge * Vulvasaur * Turkey purse (I don‘t want to understand.)* My june bug (With my beetle fear, this one sends me into a panic.) * Oscar * Raspberry sasquatch * My pink anorak * Otters pocket * I call it my vagina. because that is what it is (And I call her a prude, because that’s what she is.) * My venus fly trap (Vagina Dentada?) * Miss ragina beverhousen * The forest down belorist * Bobo (Like the clown?) * My "area" (Like 52?) * Pickles * The garden of eden * My rawr rawr (I‘m thinking of Barney.) * Diva parts * Dinky dino * Plumbing system (Yeah, that‘s sexy.) * Possom * Persephone * Blueberry muffin * Lady cabbage * Nookie bar * Choochie minge * Little scarlet * Midnight snack * Bald eagle * Pink ski slope * Geoff * Almond * Vah goo goo (What are we, 12?) * Juicy lucy (Sure it‘s ok in spelling.. Now say it.) * Twanga * Mandlespite * Smooth sally * Sheep (Why would you call your vagina a barnyard animal?) * The fountain * Ragamuffin * Mange tout (Seeing how mange is a skin disease..) * Sweet eyelet * Happiness organ * Vagitaria * Flesh mitten * Baron von cuntzberg * Vegetable patch * Porkopalypse (This one‘s just funny!) * My love box * Mustint touchit * Icy pineapple (Cold and like fucking a pinecone.) * Frankenmuff (Various parts, all stitched together.) * Spam! (So it‘s your vagina I‘ve been getting in my email all these years.) * Nookie monster * Fur burger and a side of thighs * Bearded lady * No mans land (Woman‘s land?) * Va-jay-jay. * Pocket noonie * Muffalo * Octopussior (Tentacled vagina.. Impressive!) * Mon petite pois (Hahaha! Brilliant! .. Pois = Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome (POIS) is a condition characterized by debilitating symptoms following orgasm that last for a few hours to several days.) * Va jing jing (I like this one because it sounds so much like "Ka-ching-ching") * The groovy bits * The fertile delta * Penis flytrap * The yawning hippo (I lol'd.. a lot.) * The cunning contraption * Tardis (Bigger on the inside.) * Vagenda (Love it!) * Ninzy bean (Ok, for some reason, I’m finding this super cute!) * Tarantula (*shudder*) * My dance floor (And there's room to do it, too!) * The maw of oblivion (The big, gaping maw of nothingness.) * Bloody mary (I'm going to take this one as "you've gotta have a few before you'll touch it.") * Icky creature (Really, girl?) * Special pink bits (My pink bits are special too, that goes without saying.) * Honey badger (Badgers are wicked little creatures. Even the sweet ones.) * Monster of loch ness (I’m not sure whether to focus on the monster part or the fantasy part.) * Mad vadge (Yeah, sometimes they can get pretty pissed off.) * Gnasher ("And there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth..) * Funny belly-button (Sounds like something you’d tell your 3 year old daughter.) * Princess consuela bananahamock * Sa-vage (Like!) * Ting ting * Koochizilla * Vajungle (Bring a machete.) * Platypussy * 5-star dining (You know, rumor has it vegans taste better. Just had to throw that in...) * The incinerator (Um, you probably shouldn't stick that in there.) * My little pink penal passage * Stroodle poodle (I don't get it, but it's sure funny to say!) * Sphynx (Here kitty, kitty..) * Thingamajig (For your doohickey.) * The penis palace * Exit wound (This is just disgusting.) * Vanagerie (As in menagerie?) * The magic conch (Not only can you hear the ocean, but it can pull a rabbit out of a hat.) * Forrest of feelings (Where we all get together to eat hair and cut ourselves, we nonconformist emos.) * Chihuahua (Like I'd want to name my vagina after a yappy little dog.) * Crotchal region * Clittycat


I feel like I just left kindergarten far less innocent than when I entered.

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