Case Studies in Stupidity: Volume VII [Bath Salt Bolt Down]

I'm a pretty live-and-let-live kinda girl. I figure so long as you're not harming anyone else, you should do basically whatever you'd like to do. This includes drugs. (Allow me to add here, that I don't approve of drug use, just of freedom of choice.) Admittedly, not harming anyone else while on certain drugs has proven to be a bit of a snag in my philosophy. Cocaine, ok. Meth, yeah. Heroin, duh. No bueno. But my issue per this blog at this moment is Bath Salts. Really?

Wikipedia's (Bless Wikipedia) definition of Bath Salt states: The term Bath Salts refers to a range of water-soluble, usually inorganic solid products designed to be added to a bath. They are said to improve cleaning, improve the experience of bathing, and serve as a vehicle for cosmetic agents. Bath Salts have been developed which mimic the properties of natural mineral baths or hot springs.

My question is why would anyone think to themselves, "hmmm.. I'm soaking in this tub and it's feeling pretty fabulous. I wonder what this'll do...?"

So, let's ask WebMD (my personal go-to for all symptoms to convince you of imminent death):
What do you experience when you take Bath Salts?
"Agitation, paranoia, hallucinations, chest pain, suicidality. It’s a very scary stimulant that is out there. We get high blood pressure and increased pulse, but there’s something more, something different that’s causing these other extreme effects."

Very nice. Minus, you know, all of it. Also in my minimal research (because frankly, I haven't cared to research this topic aside from the numerous accusations of violent behavior this, um, drug?, has received lately.) I found (also from WebMD) that "We don’t know if they are addictive. We have not had enough long-term experience with it. Acute toxicity is the main problem." Do you know what this means? This means that they can't tell us if it's addictive because one or two experiences with Bath Salt ingestion equals psychotic eat-your-neighbor's face off behavior, and you wind up on death row where they won't spike your lethal injection with a synthetic stimulant, place warm stones on your chest, and pump the room full of aromatherapy. Or, you potentially die due to suicidal behavior or because you get shot in the process of feeding on your best friend. Unless, of course, your snorting Bath Salts with them, in which case, I say let the feeding frenzy begin. And may the best cannibal zombie win.

From Burning Tree, we are told: “Bath Salts” are known to produce side effects similar to Meth and Cocaine such as elevated heart rate, hypertension, irritability, extreme paranoia, delusions of super-human strength and invincibility, hallucinations, suicide, aggressive and violent behavior, and possibly even murder."

As a nurse (or even before I became one, as it were), I can tell you that perception equals reality. If you believe you're invincible and possess super-human strength, you do.

So what are the ways of partaking in this profoundly desirable "drug"? Oh, that's an easy answer: however you want. You can take it orally, shoot it, snort it, smoke it, soak in it.. Which, I have to admit that I don't entirely understand how it's possible to soak in a bath full of toxins and not absorb them through the skin like everything else is absorbed by the skin, so if you have the answer to this, please enlighten me.

I have, for your morbid reading pleasure, included a few links to stories. Enjoy.

¤ Bath Salts Drug Craze: Anyone Want To “Take A Bath”? :: "But with names like “WHITE LIGHTNING,” who wouldn’t want to inject these Bath Salts into their eyeball?" ..I mean, really.

¤ ‘Bath Salts’ lead to bizarre behavior in Taunton :: Geez. Even Burger King isn't safe. This world is going straight to hell.

¤ West Virginia Man High On Bath Salts Kills Neighbor’s Goat :: "“We know the animal had at least one stab wound,” said Cpl. Sean Snuffer, a detective with the Sheriff’s Department. “They are also searching for signs of sexual trauma.” ...Nice, West Virginia.

¤ Bath Salts: Gruesome Miami attack adds to drug's bizarre history :: " A Maine woman who thought her teeth were filled with ticks and tried to cut them out with a knife. But I mean, who hasn't thought this once or twice?

¤ Utica's latest Bath Salts case: Man in underwear with knife on street

¤ Utica Bath Salts calls keep police busy late Wednesday night :: "Officer learned that the same man was involved in a Bath Salts incident the prior night in which he believed that someone was chasing him, police said.

¤ Utica man, on Bath Salts, threatens to cut out his own heart :: Utica, Utica, Utica.

¤ Bath Salts: Utica Suffers From Fourth-of-July Batshit Spree :: This one's included because I'm digging the use of "Batshit Spree". It makes me all tingly inside.

¤ Utica teen on Bath Salts said he wanted to eat blood and babies :: "The man told police that his son had used Bath Salts two days ago. Within the last seven days, he had taken cocaine, acid, angel dust, and LSD in addition to the Bath Salts." If you ask me, this may not qualify for a "Bath Salts" moment.

¤ High on Bath Salts, Utica woman says: I want to 'kill someone and eat them' :: I think I know where my next vacation won't be. Sorry, NY. We still ♥ you. Seriously. But you might wanna do something about this business.

¤ Bath Salt Cannibal: New Case Emerges In Florida :: Baker actually pulled the taser prongs out of his skin and continued to rage. This happened two more times, until officers were finally able to subdue him enough to put handcuffs on him." Anyone else noticing a trend with Salt users and nakedness?

¤ Third Miami Bath Salt Incident, Involving a Naked Man on a Playground :: Now, I'm not the most sensitive chick on the planet, but "Hi, pretty girl. Hi, pretty girl…I want to stick it in you." even sends me a chill.

And I wouldn't be the Zombie Obsessed Vixen if I didn't get to the real heart of the topic:

¤ Zombie Apocalypse: More Weird Stories Pouring In :: "...about people going totally bitchcakes and ripping each other apart." Ditto, Sister. And I'll be adding "bitchcakes" to my repertoire. Thanks, doll.

¤ Zombie Apocalypse: Face-Eating In China (Pics) :: Now, I don't know this author, but I confess I'm digging her vibe.

Never fear, I haven't left out my backyard!

¤ Police suspect bath salts in bizarre KCMO attack :: "One of that woman's neighbors told police she bit him on the arm, then got down on all fours and started digging in the dirt." I had to giggle a bit. This is normal KC behavior. "I've seen her do some crazy stuff, but not that."

¤ Drugs disguised as bath salts may be to blame for rash of poisonings, deaths :: This title somehow implies that it's perfectly logical to ingest Bath Salts in the first place. "The largest concentration of the calls has been in Louisiana, where at least 84 people have been hospitalized because of paranoia, fighting, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts and physical effects such as hypertension and rapid heartbeat." Hm. I'd have guessed Utica.

¤ Public officials warn against snorting bath salts to get high :: Um, can I get a collective "duh"?!

Seriously, folks, I can't find a lot listed about the Bible Belt and the illustrious Bath Salt epidemic pandemic. We've always been a bit behind the times, though.

I do find myself wondering, if, because the medical profession doesn't - yet - have a test to determine Bath Salt ingestion, if people are just using this as an excuse to do things they've wanted to do. As in a previous article: "When police took the man in custody, he had Bath Salts on him." Is it possible this is a way to get the 15-Minutes of Fame and by simply wearing a Bath Salt bag (pipe? Syringe? ...Whatever.) it gives them a "valid reason" to do whatever crime? Perhaps Bath Salts are the T-Virus. If I were the collective government officials, I'd be paying a LOT of attention to these bite victims. I dunno. I'm just sayin'. And I ain't gonna lie, but my brief research (that turned to extensive link collecting) has utterly and pathetically (*sigh) gotten me enthralled in this topic. I'm sure I'll be contemplating this some more. Bath Salts have become my Muse.

I see your Cloud 9 and I raise you one.


Abbigayle Rashae said...

Haha, this is crazy!
People are so strange.

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Toni said...


It's in Canada too - crazy I tell ya!

kevin grim said...

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