Into the Mouth of Hell [My Personal Case Study in Stupidity]

In other news, my bathroom floor rotted. I knew this, but I didn't know just how bad it was until the other day (I confess, I procrastinated fixing it for, um, a long time) when the toilet tilted. I didn't think to take a picture before, but the toilet was leaning significantly to the left. I was putting on my makeup, minding my own business, and the wicker basket I have sitting on my toilet tank suddenly slid off onto the floor. I turned around, a bit startled I don't mind sharing, and saw the Leaning Hatchway to Hell. It took me a few days to find someone worthy of Toilet Tinkering, but finally last Saturday I had someone come fix the floor.. But not without issues, of course, because this is me we're talking about here. In the process of attempting to shut off the water, a leaky toilet valve was found.. and it.. wouldn't.. stop.. leaking. My bathroom floor began to flood. We called an emergency plumber (my Toilet Tinkerer is a floor guy, not a plumber) who came out and fixed that business. Onward to ripping up the linoleum without a hitch. Everything was going along swimmingly, and then, he stepped on the floor to the left of my toilet. It fell. My floor.. FELL... in. Yeah. The floor beneath the toilet that I sit MY ass on fell in. Think about that for a minute.

The ring around the toilet pipe rusted - in half. I mean it snapped in half. Which, of course means nothing to me because it's a toilet and the only thing I know about plumbing is that when you flick the handle, things spiral downward. But apparently it's a pretty big deal. Not quite as big a deal as my floor falling in, if you ask me, but still.

Here's what happens when you ignore bathroom floor rotting and water leaks:

You should probably, like, learn from my mistakes and shit.

My bathroom is presently put back together and concreted, but the new flooring hasn't been laid yet. My toilet is functional, yet my bathroom is ugly. It will be finished this coming Saturday.

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