5.27.2019

School is Stupid

In a previous post I wrote about leaving my last job, I stated:
Cute goat for attention.

So I said to The Universe, "Ok, Universe, let's make a deal. If I was meant to do this, it's going to happen now. I'll be accepted on the first try, none of this wait-list b.s., and if I get in, I'll see it through. If I don't get in, then it wasn't meant to be."  

So I did all the shit that I had to do to pre-apply, jumped through all the hoops, proved all the things. The letter came in the mail and I opened it. Ah, fuck. I got in. I was not elated.

But a deal is a deal.

In February I started my BSN for the second time. I had initially started at one college in 2011 but didn't finish - shitty enough, those classes don't transfer to the college I've chosen this time. Anyway, aside from from my English Comp II final tomorrow, I just finished Spring semester. For Summer semester, I'm enrolled in 15 credit hours that I'm not particularly looking forward to.


Randomly today I recalled the deal I made with The Universe, and the shit storm that has followed and it hit me that maybe this shit storm has been a shit storm because The Universe was telling me I haven't gone far enough. If I was accepted to the program, it was meant to be, and I was. But what if it's been such a battle, so awful to the extent I've considered leaving the profession entirely, because "just nursing" wasn't what I was meant to do?

It's an interesting thought, and definitely easier than deciding I've wasted the last decade of my life. Regardless, I'm finishing my BSN now and have been looking into an MSN.

In other news, back in March I began having right hip pain. As I mentioned previously, I was diagnosed with spondylolisthesis two years ago and at that time the pain was almost exclusively localized to my left hip. I waited five horrible days with the right hip pain because I didn't yet have insurance (new job, if you recall I left my last one in December) before I went to a walk-in clinic where they did lower spine, right hip, and pelvic xrays and gave me a Toradol shot -

Side note: If you have pain, don't bother with Toradol. I have a very low drug tolerance as I don't, nor have I ever taken, pain meds for any real amount of time, and the Toradol didn't even take the edge off the hip pain. -

The xrays came back showing (this doctor said) no spondylolisthesis, but instead lumbar spondylosis.

So there's that.

I still haven't scheduled an MRI.

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